Hand In Hand

Hand In Hand

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Not Very Hopeful

I'm getting so impatient waiting this cycle. I'm not extremely optimistic so far. Two more days to wait for AF. If she's on time, she'll come on Sunday. So...I'm just waiting. I haven't felt the best today. I've been oddly cold. I've been hot for what seems like forever. I swear I've been hot the entire time that I've been on Clomid. Yes, all 8 cycles of it. I swear it's like one never-ending hot flash. But today, I've had goosebumps a few times and just been cold. I've also been extremely over-emotional. DH and I watched Tuesday night's "The Biggest Loser" and I cried through the whole show. Granted, this one was chock full of so much raw emotion, I couldn't handle it tonight! I'm wondering if I'm getting sick or something, yet another thing to look forward to...not!


Anyway...I'm just not feeling like this is my cycle. I'm expecting AF to show up right on time. And then, I'll move on to injectables, which I've been afraid of for a while. But I've come to accept that if that is God's plan for me, I will follow the path He has laid out for me. It may not be the path I would want to go down. The path I wanted to go down would have yielded a child over two years ago. But it's not about my plan, my goal, my anything. I keep reminding myself of that.

I'll try not to be hopeless in the last two days of my 2ww. I know that my hope is in Christ and He knows what will happen. I'll keep you posted as the weekend approaches!

4 comments:

  1. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way!! It is so hard to wait! At least it's only 2 more days. I am just starting my 2ww. Good luck!!

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  2. Thanks! Good luck on your wait...it's usually not bad for me, but this month, it's the end of Clomid for me. So it's either baby or injectables. So I'm nervously waiting...

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  3. Down to one more day! How are you feeling?

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  4. DH asked me how I was feeling, too. I'm not feeling any different. I've had crampiness off and on all week, but other than that and some slight nausea earlier in the week, I've got nothing out of the ordinary, not even PMS signs. I don't know...I'm still not very hopeful, but I'll keep you all posted!

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