Hand In Hand

Hand In Hand

Saturday, November 27, 2010

A Year of Rich Blessings

A year has passed since we found out we were expecting little Isabella. And in that year, we have been so richly blessed. So I thought I would recap last year's Thanksgiving blessing and then make a short list of those blessings we are most thankful for in the past year.

So last year, Isabella was a plus sign on a pregnancy test Thanksgiving morning. So much to already be thankful for. And then she was a hormone surge that warranted a phone call from the fertility specialist where they referred to me as "Mommy." And then, she was a small spot on the ultrasound screen, then a small dot with a heartbeat. From all of that came Isabella Joy, the blessing we had awaited for, prayed for, longed for. And so, in the past year, the blessings have been innumerable. Here are just a few blessings we are thankful for.

♥ We are thankful for Isabella Joy entering our lives as a healthy, beautiful baby girl.
♥ We are thankful for God keeping me healthy in the scary last stages of pregnancy when we were afraid of pre-eclampsia.
♥ We are thankful for parents who, as Grandparents, are loving, patient, eager to help, and just amazing.
♥ We are thankful for family that continuously prayed for Isabella and continues to pray for her as she grows.
♥ We are thankful for friends who support us and encourage us as we learn to be good parents as Isabella continues to grow.
♥ We are thankful for Isabella's calm and relaxed demeanor. She's such a relaxed and peaceful baby, living up to her middle name-Joy-constantly.
♥ We are thankful for a baby who loves us, needs us, relies on us, and snuggles with us.
♥ We are thankful for a spouse who encourages, supports, prays for, loves, and enjoys the other.
♥ We are thankful for Isabella's Godparents, who love her and want her to grow up to love Jesus and follow His ways.

But most importantly, we are just thankful for Isabella. We are thankful for the addition of a child into our family. We desired her for so long. And although I was at a point where I was almost out of hope, my husband is strong and encouraged me. He knew that God had a blessing in store for us and so I held out hope for one more month. and in that month, God blessed us and our lives would never be the same again. It's been a year of rich blessings. God is so good and He so much deserves our praise and gratitude.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Reflections

I am just amazed to reflect on the last year. So much has happened, changed, emerged, blossomed. A year ago today, I sat in a doctor's office having intrauterine insemination, knowing full well that there were four eggs just waiting to transform into a baby. I was fairly doubtful that anything would happen, since it had been such a quick and strange cycle. But I went in for the IUI anyway. I remember laying there, alone (Hubby couldn't come, it was a work day and he went to work), feeling so defeated. Never had I been more sure that getting pregnant wouldn't happen. So I just laid there, knees in the air, just going through the motions. 

Fast forward a year and all those feelings of defeat have long since faded. Tonight, I sit here with Isabella fast asleep in my arms. I still have those memories of laying there in the doctor's office fresh in my mind. But my heart is overflowing with such joy and love for my precious little child. 

She is truly a miracle. She is my blessing, my promise from God. Because of that, she was dedicated to God last Friday by Hubby's grandpa (Izzy's great grandpa). He is getting older and his memory fails him a lot, but there was something so youthful about holding Isabella. It's as though he was transported to a time long ago. He dedicated my precious child to the Lord and prayed over her. It was such a special experience. Last year at this time, I couldn't have even dreamed of all that has transpired. God is good! His blessings are overwhelming.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Year Ago Yesterday

This is my post from a year ago yesterday:

Dearest Aunt Flow decided to visit today. It's about time she got here. She's been standing at the door for like 3 days now but just wasn't ready for a visit. How annoying! Everything is run on her time. 


Anyway. I made my appointment for baselines. I go in Thursday morning. Hopefully, that lovely cyst has run its course and is out of my body. It's on to injectables, big time. Part of me is worried that I'll have to do another cycle of bcp. I'm worried about my estrogen levels. But I'm really worried about my FSH levels. They were high last time and high estrogen is supposed to suppress estrogen levels. Ugh...I guess only time will tell what lies in waiting. 


I have a fresh look on it all. Today is a new day. Today starts a fresh cycle. If my bloodwork and ultrasound are no good, I'll do another cycle of bcp. It's okay, I have to have peace about whatever my body brings my way. In the meantime, I have a huge box full of medication plus more meds in the fridge just waiting to be used. And I have an egg somewhere in my ovaries just waiting to turn into a darling baby. 


I gave my ovaries a pep talk this morning. I had to make sure they were on the same page as I was. They are the boss of my cycle and they need to know what the proper directions are. Plus, I may as well coach them on how to behave. They've been misbehaving since the beginning of it all. It's time they get themselves under control! We'll see if they can behave on Thursday.

It is just amazing for me to read that and see how far I've come and how richly I've been blessed with Isabella. Last year at this time, I was getting ready to start my injections. I was so scared of it. I was doubtful of this working. I felt as though all my hope was drained out of me. I was growing weary of all the fertility treatments. And when my new cycle started a year ago, I was filled with new hope. That hope only came from God. He gave me a renewed hope. He alone knew that my prayers for a child would be answered that cycle. I am so thankful for everything I went through. I'm thankful for the pain of failed cycles. I'm thankful for the lessons in patience and trust. I'm thankful for the lessons in stepping out in faith. I'm thankful for the bumps in the road, the long journey, the trials along the way. It isn't just the outcome that makes us blessed, it is the journey to get there. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I almost gave up hope. Yes, it made me feel broken, empty, useless. But at the same time, yes, it strengthened my faith. Yes, it taught me more reliance on God. Yes, it strengthened my marriage. A year makes so much difference. And I'm just so thankful for the blessings of the past year. Rereading my post from last year makes me appreciate my precious miracle even more.