I've been a little discouraged since Wednesday's forced one month break from TTC. It is only a month, actually, 3 weeks. I'm not sure how it works with being on the pill. I don't even know what to consider CD 1. So I'll have to ask the doctor at the consult on Friday morning. I can't even begin to tell you about the thoughts that creep through my mind. I have to keep telling my mind to turn it off for a little while. Stress and anxiety won't get me a baby any more than the luck I've had so far. And as you can tell by my childless, empty womb, I've had NO luck.
But it's not about luck, it's about God telling me that I need to stop, slow down, take a break. I have great friends who are getting me through the rough patch. They remind me that my body can't be a machine, it needs a small rest. I have a very dear friend who reminds me that I'm not the one in control of my life. And the more I try to control it, the more bumps in the road will appear because I shouldn't have control of my life. God is in control and needs to be. I'm thankful for great friends who are carrying me through the emotional journey.
Tomorrow, a good friend of mine is getting married. I'm so excited for her. But secretly, I was hoping that I would be sporting a happy baby belly at her wedding. It's not to be. Sadly, I'm sporting a lovely month off from TTC. Hmmm...not as spectacular or fabulous of a story, huh? But that's life. And I'm going to get to spend the day with DH and some of the best girls there could ever be. Of course, a few of my closest girl friends won't be there, but I still love them just the same!
I'm thankful for being surrounded by people who can empathize even if they've never been in my shoes. They offer me so much encouragement and love. It's one of those warm and fuzzy feelings to know that when life throws you some sour lemons, the greatest of friends are there waiting with sugar (or Splenda) to sweeten things up.
7 hours ago