So Much to Catch Up On!

My goodness, where do I even start? I've been such a slacker about blogging lately. With a baby on the go, it's been increasingly difficult to find the time to really sit down and catch up! I shall try to do it all at once. I'll put pictures and videos on here, too, to show all the fun times we are having.

Isabella is almost a year old already. Time sure has gone by so quickly. In a little less than two weeks, I will have a one year old. That seems to strange to say. My little baby is no longer a baby. She is very much a little girl. I treasure everything about her, even the past month of sleepless nights and not handling teething well. It all goes with the package and I wouldn't want it any other way. Those are the things that make up who she is. 

So let's see, Isabella is fully crawling now. She gets around pretty quickly. If you don't keep your eyes on her, she's across the room in no time. She pulls herself up on anything and everything she can find and is wanting to walk on her own, but she's still too wobbly in the knees. But that will come soon. I think that by the end of the summer, she will be walking. Hubby thinks she'll be walking by her birthday, but that gives her two weeks to not only take her first steps, but get beyond her sea legs. I'm not so sure about that. But I guess we'll see!

We have lots of teeth. She now has 6 teeth. Her gums are all swollen by her cuspids and molars, so we'll see what comes in next. She only has two bottom teeth, though. Her top middle two teeth just came in during June and are still dropping into position. They have caused her so much discomfort. I feel so bad for my baby. She really doesn't cut teeth well at all. But with all these teeth, she has been eating more and more yummy foods. Breakfast is such a challenge. I can't seem to find anything this child wants to eat for breakfast besides dry cheerios and watermelon. Strange combination, but that's what she likes. We're going to try scrambled eggs with sausage mixed in and see where we get with that. 

You would think the teeth would deter me, but I am still breastfeeding. It's a challenge to breastfeed a one year old, her attention is getting worse. But when she really wants to nurse, she lets me know. She often times doesn't like to nurse when her daddy is around unless it's the middle of the night. She nurses so much better when it is quiet and it's just the two of us. I guess it's all par for the course. She is showing no signs of wanting to wean, just signs of wanting to nurse in different positions and different times of the day. My goal is to get to 18 months and be fully weaned by then. That means that by the end of January, I want to have a fully weaned child. I guess if she weans herself by then, it's not going to be as difficult as if I have to wean her. So we'll see how things go. 

She went to Kentucky to visit her Great Grandma and Great Grandpa. I took some videos of them together. All of my grandparents are deceased, but thankfully, my husband still has his mom's parents. They are wonderful, especially with little babies. Isabella will cherish the videos when she is older. They are a wonderful way to capture the moment. With the distance between New Jersey and Kentucky, we won't get out there again until November. So it was definitely a nice trip. She was smitten with her Great Grandpa, but who wouldn't be! 

Isabella is a beach lover. We've been to the beach three times now (gotta love living an hour and a half from the beach!) and although she was unsure of it the first time, she loves it now. She tries her best to eat sand and even though she spits out that first handful, she always goes back for more. She loves to roll around in the sand. She also has come to love her toes being in the water. She was unsure of it the first time went to the ocean. But now, she loves it. Next year will be even more fun! 

There's not much else going on. We're planning a first birthday party with lots of friends and family over to celebrate the first year of this little miracle baby. It took a lot of work and prayer to conceive her and so this celebration is an extra special one. She is my blessing and we will celebrate it fully. 

Sorry it has taken me this long to make this post, I just had so much to catch up on! Here are some pictures to enjoy.

 

 

Playing Catch Up

Goodness, it's been a while since my last post! Isabella sure keeps me busy! There's been a lot that has been going on, lots of changes with her, good and bad. Me? There's nothing new with me. Where do I start with Isabella...I'll make a list of all the new things she does.

*She waves! She's been waving for at least three weeks now. She waves "hi" and "bye." Sometimes, we remind her to say hi to someone and she'll wave. Other times, she just does it on her own. Every now and then, she plays the shy game and won't wave. Instead, she'll give this little shy smile and bury her head in my shoulder or her Daddy's shoulder. 

*She speaks words! Sure, she's been saying "Dada" and "Mama" for at least a month or so now, but she's added more words to her vocabulary! She's said "Hi," "bye," and "hello." She also says "thank you." What ten and a half month old that you know of has manners like that! She tries her best to say "Angel" and "doggy" when the dog is around, but it never quite comes out right. We're working on it, though.

*She now has 4 teeth. This last tooth to come in was absolute torture. She went on a modified nursing strike for 4 days. It was horrible! She would only nurse at bedtime, in the middle of the night, and first thing in the morning. Otherwise, she would scream out in pain and arch her back all the way backwards. Hubby to her to the pediatrician to have her ears checked because it was the same behaviors that started the first ear infection. Her ears were completely clear, it was just teething pain. Thankfully, by Thursday, the tooth had fully broken through the gums and seemed to be no longer a pain for Isabella. She's back to happily nursing and laughing instead of crying throughout the day.

*She crawls...backwards. Yes, she still doesn't crawl forwards. She would rather try to walk than work on crawling. She doesn't walk on her own, she holds my fingers and walks, pulling me along behind her wherever she wants to go. This is not a good sign, she'll be walking on her own before I know it. I think she's going to walk before she crawls forward. But we'll see. Maybe she'll crawl for a day before she walks. Who knows!

*I'm STILL breastfeeding. I know, the girl who swore she'd NEVER EVER breastfeed is the same girl who after ten and a half long months is still going strong with it. My long-term goal is 18 months. With each tooth that comes in, I've survived the biting (Isabella only bites when a new tooth is breaking through the gums), the nursing strikes, the ear infections (poor/frustrating nursing sessions), and the pinching. I am over halfway to my goal! I can't believe I once said I wouldn't ever do this. I would have missed out on so much beautiful Mommy-Daughter time. I cherish my moments with Isabella when I can cradle her while nursing and just look into her bright blue eyes. Gosh, I love that girl! There's not a whole lot of things better than just being able to look into those little blue eyes that I thought I would never get to see.

*Summer break is almost here! There's one good thing about being a teacher and that's having the summer to spend with my beautiful daughter. I'm so excited to spend this summer with her, teaching her lots of new fun things. She's going to walk, hopefully crawl, and maybe even learn some simple sign language! I'd love to have a child who can communicate better and not be as frustrated when I don't know what she wants. 

That's about it from this world. As we speak, Sesame Street is coming to an end and Isabella is getting frustrated about not being the center of Mommy's attention. So I'm going to end this blog post here with a few pictures of my Isabella from the past few weeks. Enjoy!

More Reflections on Motherhood and the Journey to Get Here

A friend of mine texted me over the weekend and asked about what was specifically not working right with my body that caused my difficulty conceiving. It got me thinking about the journey I went on to get here. Times like that can cause me to reflect on how I feel about things like that. So I thought I would share some reflections I had and then some of my reflections on Motherhood. So, thoughts about the journey...

It's hard. Nobody said it was easy. Nobody thinks it's easy. It's emotionally hard. It's physically hard. It's mentally hard. It can be spiritually hard. But, for as hard as it was, I don't regret a single step in that journey. If I had to do it all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant the end result was another beautiful child like Isabella.

I wouldn't wish this journey on my worst enemy. Yes, I said I would do it again in a heartbeat. But I have the end result to hold in my arms, to snuggle with, to kiss goodnight. Not everyone does. And it's so draining. It can be hard on a marriage. It can be hard on friendships. I wouldn't want anyone to ever go through what I went through to get Isabella. And the reality is that a lot of women go through much more to get their beautiful miracles and I'm sure that knowing the end result, they would do it again in a heartbeat, too.

Part of me is scared to go through it all again in a few years. Hubby and I have decided to wait until 2012 to start with fertility treatments again. And although the idea of a second child is exciting, I'm so nervous and scared of the journey to get there. Silly, maybe, but it's the truth! All those thoughts go through your head like "What if it doesn't happen this time around?" and "What if all my hormonal issues have multiplied and are worse?" All thoughts I have no right to be thinking, since I'm not even thinking about conceiving that child until a year from this coming fall. But the thoughts are still there...

And then, some reflections on Motherhood.

Before being a Mom, I thought I knew how much I could love another human being. I love my parents, I love my husband, I love my siblings. But nothing prepares your heart for the overflowing love you feel as a Mother. My mom told me there was no love like that of a mother. But you just don't understand until you are one yourself. I looked at Isabella as she slept in my arms tonight ad said to Hubby, "Did you ever think you could love such a small, delicate being as much as you do?" It just amazes me how much I love my little baby girl.

Time does not march on. It zips on past. No marching band can march as quickly as time seems to go by. I miss those first few months. I saw a little boy at the allergist tonight and it made my heart a little sad because I feel like that was already forever ago. Every stage and milestone is hit so quickly and time zips on past. First, it's cereal. Then, it's baby food. Then, it's the teething. Then, it's more solid foods, crawling, and practice walking. It's the talking, the waving bye-byes, and already forming personality. Time just goes by too quickly.

Reflections before Mother's Day Arrives

I was thinking to myself today how strange it is to actually be celebrating Mother's Day as a mother. And then, I was taken back to a time when I bitterly sat in church in Mother's Day and watched as all the kids would go and get a flower to give to their moms. And there I would sit, no child to bring me a flower. I remember all those emotions and I know that some of you who read this blog are feeling those very emotions right now. Mother's Day is a holiday that is so hard for the woman fully engrossed in the infertility world. It's so hard to watch as your friends, your family, and your blogger friends celebrate such a special, enchanted day. It's one of those holidays that the woman who is battling infertility would rather sleep through and not have to deal with. I've been there and even though I have a child, I can't help but remember how that felt. 

Life is so different now for me. I'm hosting Mother's Day lunch tomorrow for my parents and it's my first official Mother's Day as a mother! It's very surreal, almost like a dream, to think that I have a daughter, I am a mother, this holiday is now for me, too. It's exciting to realize that nine months in, nobody has pinched me to wake me up from this beautiful dream. But I guess that's because it's not a dream. Indeed, my reality of being a Mother to the most beautiful little girl I could have ever dreamed of is a wonderful reality. I am a Mother. Me. A Mom. I still have to repeat that to myself. It's so strange to think about it! 

Happy early Mother's Day to all the moms reading this, both young and old, both moms to human babies and moms to furry babies. Mother's Day is celebrated once a year, but we're moms all year long!

The Versatile Blogger Award!

Thank you, The Disheartened and Jessica for the nomination! I'm not used to getting blog nominations and sometimes, I just think people skip over my blog, since it really isn't always the most interesting! I appreciate the love TONS!

Here are the rules:

1.) Winners- Put the above image in your blog.

2.) Include a link back to the person who gave it to you.

3.) Tell 10 things about yourself

4.) Award 15 other bloggers

5.)Contact the bloggers you awarded and let them know they won.

 

So, I put the picture there right in the beginning of this blog. AND, I linked back to the two awesome women who nominated me. Now, for ten things about me...

1. I still consider my doggie to be my "firstborn." I know, it's not the same, but fur babies are babies and she was my first one. Shhh! We won't tell Isabella!

2. My husband actually chose our daughter's name. I was really leaning towards "Azaria." I think it's a beautiful name and it means "Helped by God." I thought it seemed perfect for my child after all I had been through, but we had four names on the list and in order to secure the middle name "Joy," I let Hubby choose her first name, Isabella.

3. I'm a teacher and I LOVE my job. Regardless of how bad things are politically in New Jersey at the moment, my students are my job and I love them.

4. My husband and I met at our first real teaching job. He's a music teacher and I'm a special education teacher. It was almost love at first sight. I just had to stop denying how I felt about him.

5. I play the flute. In fact, I played at the Earth Day assembly at my school on Wednesday and ended up with my picture in the county newspaper.

6. I'm in love with nature, mainly the spring flowers. I just love to go for walks on warm spring mornings and evenings with my camera in tow so I can take pictures of the blossoms on the trees and the flowers in full bloom in the gardens.

7. I'm a quilter. I haven't yet made a quilt for my daughter, though I plan on doing that this summer. I have made other baby quilts and have a few to make for my new mommy and mommy-to-be friends.

8. I used to work at a camp called "Mt. Misery." For real, that's really the name of the United Methodist Camp. Google it. It's an awesome place with a very quirky name.

9. I went to an all women's college, Georgian Court University (it was still a college back then). In order to get some men around, we "imported" them from the military base. One of my dearest friends is one of those military guys.

10. I have almost no sweet tooth. It died when I got pregnant with Isabella and hasn't really returned. I guess it's really not a bad deal.

Now, the nominees (in no specific order):

1. Christina from The Subfertile Frugalista

2. Jennifer at Thoughts From a Blonde

3. All you Who Hope

4. Jennnie from Living, Laughing and LOVING life as a Mom!

5. Holly at Living the miracle we call life.

6. Priscilla from It only takes on time...Not!

7. Krista at Diary of taking small steps toward baby steps...

8. JZ from Infertility and the City

9. Journey Girl at Donor Eggs Journey

10. ~Sabine~ from A Land Far Away

11. Catrisha T at Baby Dreams

12. The Mrs. from In God's Hands

13. MiraclesDHappen at Our Infertility Journey: Awaiting That Birthday!

14. Olivia from Traveling Within

15. Eileen at We got hitched. We bought the 4 bedroom house. Now what???

A Few Lessons Learned on Planet Mom

There are a thousand lessons a mom learns on her first adventure in parenthood. And certainly, I can't write them all down. I don't know most of them, since I haven't yet learned some of those lessons. But I thought I would share some of those lessons with you. Some are comical, some are personal, some are just common sense. Enjoy!

Lesson 1: Sleep has a new-found value. Yes, I thought it was best to start with this one. The truth is that you will still get sleep as a mom. But you won't get as much sleep as you used to and it often is broken sleep, with a baby waking up in the middle of the night. Again, not a big deal, you still get sleep, but sleep takes on new value. Being a mom is exhausting and it's always good to have those extra moments to nap.

Lesson 2: You're time is not your own anymore. Yes, you may still have a few moments of "me time." But it just isn't the same. Your time is spent doing laundry for the baby, giving the baby a bath, nursing, feeding the baby breakfast, lunch, or dinner, playing with the baby, cuddling with the baby, or rocking the baby to sleep. Yes, those few moments of "me time" are usually spent driving to work, getting a shower, or letting Daddy play with the baby.

Lesson 3: You can NEVER have enough baby clothes. Okay, my loving and very frugal husband would definitely not agree with that statement. But it's true, especially for baby girls. They need such a beautiful wardrobe filled with dresses, rompers, jumpers, leggings, athletic pants, khakis, jeans, onesies (short and long sleeved), t-shirts, long sleeved shirts, socks, hair bows, jackets, etc...you get the idea. There can never be enough. Everything out there is just too darn cute!

Lesson 4: Babies want to spend a lot of time with Mommy. There are moments when I would just love for Isabella to want her daddy. But the reality is that she wants to spend a lot of time with me. Sometimes, it's just sitting on the floor playing with her and that's all she wants. Other times, it's a soft place to sleep and loving arms to rock her to sleep. But it's a lot of time spent with Mommy.


Lesson 5: Sleep deprivation is a natural thing and you learn to work through it. Yes, I never thought I would say that. But I get a lot less sleep now than before I had Isabella and somehow, my body has adjusted to it and it's fine. But, of course, I still get 6+ hours of sleep a night, so it's not full sleep deprivation. 


Lesson 6: Ear infections+teething=a very unhappy baby. Okay, that's common sense. I just had to add it in. It was a miserable weekend when the ear infection was in full force. Thankfully, it's gone and the first tooth is working its way in (just broke the gums today).


Lesson 7: A smile from your baby can make everything feel okay. Maybe you had a bad day at work. Maybe you're just feeling sad or depressed. Who knows what's going on with each of us day to day. But I know that when I'm not feeling fabulous, Isabella gives me that Hollywood smile (I know, an eight-month old can give a Hollywood smile? Really? Yes!) and it just melts my heart. It makes everything all better, even if it's just for the moment.


Lesson 8: Strangers are going to admire your baby (and not always from their own personal space). There are too many dirty, germy hands that reach out for my baby because they want to admire her. It's just I need to teach adults about personal space and the rule of "if it's not yours, don't touch it!" They will feel the need to "pet" your baby's head, touch their feet, and try to hold their hand. Yes, it happens quite often and I am irritated by people's lack of personal space.


Lesson 9: Your post-baby body is still beautiful, baby pooch and all. I know, this is a hard lesson to listen to. But it's true. There is nothing more beautiful than the body of a woman who brought life into this world. That kangaroo pouch is a beautiful thing, just think of the purpose it served! Of course, it helps to be even more beautiful when you put that beautiful baby in your arms. It's like arm candy!


Lesson 10: Time goes too quickly during the first year. Everyone says this and we all nod our heads and say "Sure it does." But seriously, it does. I am at a loss for where time has gone. It has flown by, too quickly, much too quickly. Write down everything, take lots of pictures, too, because the time just goes by too quickly.


Lesson 11: All moms need mom friends who know what they are experiencing. I could not have embarked on this adventure alone. It has been so important to me to have friends who have babies Isabella's age or just a little older who know what I'm going through. Their knowledge and wisdom has been so important to me.


Lesson 12: That beautiful hair you gained in pregnancy? Gone. Yep, gone. I lost so much hair around 2-3 months postpartum. Now, I have these annoying baby fuzzies on the top of my head, right around the front of the hair line. My hair is not as lustrous or full as it was during pregnancy. My husband still says it's beautiful, but it isn't what it was nine months ago.

Lesson 13: Anything that makes noise can help distract an angry baby. I love that I can distract Isabella with my cell phone, the dog's squeakie toys, or any of her rattles. She can get moody, but I can easily get her attention on something new instead of whatever was making her mad before.


Lesson 14: Everyone will offer advice on every situation. Some pieces of advice are great. Other pieces of advice are not worth much. The best piece of advice I was ever given was that not all advice given to me would be worth my time. But everyone, even those friends without children, think they know everything. They have been there, tried that, done that, and experienced that. They have the answer for this problem and that problem. Just take it all in and decide what applies to you.


Lesson 15: Quality spouse time can be hard to find. This isn't always the case, but especially with ear infections, teething, and hungry babies, it can be hard to find time to really enjoy quiet time with your spouse. 


Lesson 16: Put away those pretty trinkets that dangle around your neck. Yes, I mean your bling. It becomes an excellent pulling toy for the baby. Isabella LOVES necklaces. Mommy doesn't wear them, so she loves to be held by anyone wearing them. She pulls on them, chews on them, and loves the feeling of the chains on between her fingers. But if it's an expensive piece of jewelry, you may not want to wear it for a while.


Lesson 17: You will gain an infinite amount of patience dealing with a baby. Maybe you didn't think it was possible to have the patience of a saint. But have a baby and you'll learn that you'll gain it quickly. It can be very frustrating taking care of a fussy baby, especially when you don't know why they are fussy. But sometimes, all it takes it a lot of patience and a lot of love (plus some gas drops, Tylenol, or cuddling) to help ease the grumpiness.


Lesson 18: Your adventures are endless, as there are always new things to do. Isabella is getting into more and more things and yet, she isn't even crawling yet! Imagine the adventures once she starts crawling and then walking! We've already had a lot of adventures and she is so much fun. There are so many more adventures just waiting around the corner!


Lesson 19: Taking an adventure with your spouse (even to the grocery store) without the baby is a DATE. Okay, so maybe not a trip to the grocery store, but any time you can get out without the baby, it's a date! And it really doesn't happen that often if you're like me and want to soak up every moment you can with your baby.


Lesson 20: Babies make the world a much happier place. This needs no explanation. It just is true!


Those are my lessons learned. And of course, there are so many more to share, but I'll leave you with those 20 lessons for now! Thanks for reading them all!

Ear Infections, Teething, and My Little Princess

I know, I know, I'm a slacker and haven't posted for a while. Lots has been going on, keeping me very busy and unable to really get on here to post anything. 

We survived Isabella's first ear infection! It was NOT easy. She was running a fever two weeks ago, so we called the triage line for our pediatrian. They weren't too concerned about it and told us to just keep a watch on it. So we did. The fever broke and we thought nothing of it. Then, two weekends ago, she wouldn't nurse. In fact, she pretty much lost her appetite and would just scream and cry at the drop of a hat. We would lay her down. She'd cry. I'd try to nurse. She'd cry. I'd try to feed her some baby food. She's cry. We were at a loss. She was really gassy, so I just chalked it up to the gas and teething. An entire weekend of this went by with no change. So we got her in for a sick baby visit and sure enough, she had an ear infection. She had lost weight because of what the pediatrician called "Baby Anorexia." I call it a modified nursing strike. She's been on antibiotics for over a week and it's made all the difference. The old Isabella is back and it's nice to have her back! My milk production took a serious nose dive from her ear infection. In fact, my cycles started again because of her nursing strike. But my milk production has increased in the last few days, so hopefully, we're fully on the rebound. She's now up to 16.19 pounds. I'm sure she would weigh more if she didn't have that nasty middle ear infection. 

Now, the teething. Ugh...those teeth are still not in! The bottom two are trying to push through the gums. In fact, the tooth bud for the lower right side is working on coming it. You can feel it and see it clearly, but still no teeth. She's wanting to chew on EVERYTHING. She wants to massage her gums with anything she can get her hands on. Not always a good thing. She decided tonight to chew on the TV remote! That's a no-no for sure!

As for everything else, things are going well. Isabella is such a little ham. She knows when the camera is out and she'll pose. I know, an 8-month-old who poses? Come on. Well, I'm serious! Here are a few pictures to leave you with. I'll try to post a better, longer post this weekend. But we'll see how busy Izzy keeps me!