Yesterday, we went back to see the RE. It's been almost three years since we were there last, so I was quite nervous. I'm not naive this time around. I KNOW the tests, I KNOW the possibilities, I KNOW the possible roadblocks. And that knowledge makes me VERY nervous. With having a c-section with Isabella, I knew there would be a possibility of extra testing. I had no idea I would need another HSG.... Nobody enjoys the HSG!
I'm nervous as can be as that appointment looms over my head for Wednesday. There are a few different possible outcomes. First of all, not only are they checking to make sure my fallopian tubes are open, but they are checking for scar tissue on my uterus. I had a "special" c-section. My beautiful little princess wouldn't come out during her caesarian birth. So, the OB had to do an extra cut-vertical-on my uterus. So, internally, I have an upside down T. That makes for a possible scar tissue issue. If there is scar tissue that isn't removed, it can cause a miscarriage. So, the possible outcomes are: everything is open, clear, and ready to go. Or, the tubes are clear but there is scar tissue. Or, one tube (or both) are blocked, but there is no scar tissue. Or, there is a tubal blockage and there is scar tissue. This whole unknown situation is what is making me nervous. But it's just another thing we infertiles must go through to achieve the same results as our Fertile Myrtle friends.
I had an ultrasound yesterday to check how many eggs are in my ovaries at the present moment. I had seven. The mere fact that the number can be counted on TWO hands is good news for me. But, it's a low number compared to most women my age. It is a bitter reminder of my diminishing ovarian reserve. I still need to get updated hormone bloodwork done and that makes me more nervous. I am anxious about my FSH and AMH levels. They didn't check my AMH levels three years ago, but my FSH levels were around 13. Not good. So we will see what this time around brings.
The game plan is in the place. The RE is on board with an October or November start date. But, the hormone testing will determine what injectables I use and what the possible dosage will be. But this is one of those times when I know that Hubby and I have prayed about this, we felt all along that God was having us wait until this moment. We purposely chose to wait until Isabella was two before even thinking of starting for a second. She is now two and here we are. Last night, I prayed that we were on the right path, that God was directing us correctly, and that our plans matched His. But I have this sinking feeling like God has some tests of faith in store for us again. Only time will tell, I suppose.
So here we are, in the waiting game, hoping to start TTC #2 in the next few months. I just have to get these pesky tests out of the way. Oh to be fertile and be able to conceive if someone even so much as sneezes on me when they are pregnant. That's never going to happen, but one sure can imagine and dream!
#Microblog Monday 191: Book Pressure
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