Snuggle Time

I have been such a slacker with posting! But Isabella is a little snuggler and doesn't give me much of a moment to wrote a long post. In fact, she's snuggling with me right now, but somehow, I have managed to position her in a way that both of my hands are free. 

So it's been ten weeks (as of yesterday) since Isabella entered this world and forever changed my life. My heart is still overflowing with emotions. The love I have for her is unexplainable. I knew love my whole life. My mother's love for me was and is one of the greatest things. I knew love when I met my husband. But nothing prepares your heart for the amount of love you will feel when you have a child. She has changed my life, changed my future, changed my marriage (in the best way possible, of course!). I just love Isabella beyond words, beyond expressions, and beyond anything I could even try to explain. 

We've enjoyed our time at home bonding. She loves to cuddle and snuggle and I love to cuddle and snuggle with her. Sadly, I have to return to work soon. I am excited to return to my classroom. I do miss my students and my passion for teaching. But a part of my heart will be breaking when I can't spend my days with my precious little one. These past two months have been one of the most amazing times of my life. We've bonded so much and I am so thrilled that I had that time with her. My parents will start watching her Tuesday while I make the hard transition from being a temporary stay at home Mom back to being a teacher. Everything will be all new now, though. Teacher by day, Mom 24 hours a day. It will be an adventure, to say the very least! Bring on the adventure, I need to get used to life continuing, even if I want to freeze time.

Two Months Already!

I can hardly believe that it has already been two months since Isabella entered my world. I could not be more in love with her. She is just the most amazing addition to my life. Being a mom is not always easy. I get frustrated sometimes with not being able to get everything done around the apartment that should get done. But at the end of the day, spending time with little Izzy is more important than laundry, dishes, and straightening things up around here. She is doing great. She loves being attached to mommy's bosom. We tried to introduce formula tonight, but she wants nothing to do with it. We need to start supplementing because I go back to work in three weeks and there is no way I can pump enough to keep up with her eating habits. Once she starts to eat even more, I'd need to pump more than I have time to do as a teacher. So we tried and tonight, it failed. She wants nothing to do with it. Tomorrow, I'll just use 2 ounces of breast milk with a half scoop of the formula and see if that makes a difference.
Over the weekend, we went down to Maryland to see Hubby's side of the family. Grandma Pat was so excited to see her granddaughter again. Isabella even had a little outfit that said "Off to Grandma's." Since my mom and stepdad will be watching her when I go back to work, I want to make her visits with Hubby's mom special. We had a great time. We went to a farm that had a crazy corn maze. So we went through the maze. I don't think I would have made it through without Hubby. He is a human GPS. He looked at the map/aerial view once and knew his way around. I am certainly not that good with directions and Isabella won't be, either. She couldn't even figure out how to get out of the womb without being chopped out!

We also had the privilege of having more pictures taken of our little family. Our good friend, Doreen, is a professional photographer and she did our wedding pictures seven long years ago. She wanted to do maternity pictures for me but we could never coordinate our schedules. So she was so excited to get her camera on Isabella. Here is a small sampling of Isabella's two month pictures.

Aunt Olivia

Grandma Pat

Time Really Flies!

I realize I've been absent from the blogging world a lot more lately. But it's not without good reason. Isabella definitely keeps me busy. She wants to be held, cuddled, bounced, and played with all the time. Since I go back to work in a month, I've been enjoying every ounce of my time with her. She is changing and growing so quickly and I don't want to miss a thing!

I sent a birth announcement to my fertility specialist for their dreaded baby wall. My opinion about the baby wall has changed since having Isabella. I used to despise that wall. There was nothing more evil and hated than that baby wall. Yet now, I have come to terms with its purpose somewhere like a fertility clinic. When I was going through all the fertility treatments, the last thing I had wanted to see was everyone's babies staring down at me knowing I didn't have anything to add to the wall. I went through all the same emotions at the OBGYN office. Yet now, especially at the fertility specialist, I have come to see the hope it can offer to those in the middle of the battle. I didn't want to see it as hope when I was going through all that I went through to conceive Isabella. I wanted to see it as something I would never experience, a painful reminder of all my body's issues. I'm so blessed to have added a picture to the baby wall and I am so thankful for that wall being there. I was so negative towards that wall but it really is the wall of hope. It is the evidence that the fertility treatments work at some point, that it's not all in vain. 

There's not a whole lot of interesting things going on. Isabella is growing and growing. She probably weighs 9 or 10 pounds now. Her next Well Baby check up is October 6th. So we'll find out how much she weighs then. She is wearing 0-3 month clothes. She's got short little legs and a pudgy belly. Too cute. I'll attach a few pictures to this post. 

I went shopping for her the other day at Carters. Between my mom and me, we spent $130 on $400 worth of fall clothes. I haven't even thought about getting 3-6 month clothes. She does need those, but 0-3 month clothes was the first need. We'll get the 3-6 month clothes in a month. We're headed out to the Pittsburgh area for a wedding Columbus Day weekend and there's a Carters outlet out there. So we'll make a nice shopping visit then. A baby girl needs to be dressed well for the season, you know!

So, I have to say that I still find it so unbelievable that I'm blogging about a baby. A baby that is here. A baby that knows me as "Mom." A baby that is my very own. I still know the emotions of thinking this would never happen for me, that I would never be able to conceive. It still feels like yesterday when I, following doctor's orders, took a pregnancy test on Thanksgiving 2009 and watched it show up positive. It still feels like yesterday when we first saw Isabella on an ultrasound at the fertility specialist. I don't think I have ever experienced the joy of seeing a small dot on the monitor. And then to hear her heartbeat a week later, such a sweet sound. Feels like yesterday that I felt all those emotions. And yet, seven weeks and two days ago, I had a c-section and met my precious daughter face to face. Even that feels like just yesterday. Time flies!

That's about it from this end. I'm just enjoying a quiet Friday morning at home with Isabella. She's asleep on my chest right now. It's one of her most favorite places to be. 

One Month Pictures

Saturday August 28th was Isabella's one month celebration. We had one month pictures done and they turned out fantastic! I still cannot believe that I have held Isabella in my arms for 5 weeks now. 5 weeks ago exactly (to the exact time of 1:27pm), I was in the c-section operating room waiting to meet my little princess. At 1:35 on that day, my world was forever changed by the little child that has defined my life for the past 5 weeks. I still feel like that day was yesterday. I feel like I just walked in to the hospital carrying my bags up to the 3rd floor, Labor and Delivery. 

I've recovered well from my c-section. I can go on nice long evening walks with Hubby and the dog. Isabella likes to go on those walks. Most of the time, she stays awake and looks at everything around her that she can see. If I strap her into the Baby Bjorn, she sleeps. It feels good to be able to get up, go on a walk, enjoy life again. All that bed rest before Isabella's arrival had me stuck on the couch trying to enjoy life from inside my apartment. I'm so glad my recovery has been going well. As of my 4-week postpartum checkup, I had lost 20 of my 30 pregnancy pounds. Hopefully, carrying around a growing baby and going on nice walks (and breast feeding, of course) will help speed up the weight loss of the rest of the baby weight. 

Okay, so back to the purpose of this post: the one month pictures. I wanted to share some of those pictures with all of you. They came out fantastic. Isabella is going to break a lot of boys' hearts when she is older! 

 

Four Weeks Already?!

Tomorrow marks the 4-week birthday of my little Isabella. It's so hard to believe that's it been four weeks already. She really has become life as I know it. What life was like before her is a distant memory. She fills my days with more smiles and laughter than before. She fills her Daddy's day with joy and sunshine. She really brightens any day, no matter what is going on. She make all the fertility treatments so worth it. 

Speaking of fertility specialist, I still need to send her birth announcements out to most people. I can't wait to send one to the fertility specialist for the baby wall...the wall I despised when I was on the other side of the journey. All those times looking at the baby wall...they were torture! And now, I can add a picture to the baby wall. My perspective on the wall has changed. Instead of despising it, I have realized that it should give hope to those still in the process of fertility treatments. It's just so exciting to know that I can add a picture to that wall because my little Isabella is here. I have so much to be thankful for and I owe so much thanks and gratitude to Dr. V. He really is an amazing doctor who not only was able to figure out what was wrong with my body, but he was also able to find something to help me conceive. Little Isabella needs to meet him one day!

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll post something more personal later to tell you all how Mommyhood is going and how Baby Isabella is doing. In the meantime, here are some pictures to enjoy.

What a Difference Three Years Makes!

Three years ago this month, Hubby and I decided we were ready to start a family. So we prayed long and hard about what God would have us do. When you give your life to serve the Lord, you never want to do something that you feel He would not have you do. So we prayed about it and waited on an answer before doing anything else. Hubby and I both felt strongly that God had answered our prayer by telling us it was time to start a family, so I went off my birth control pill, praying that my irregular cycles would be a thing of the past. We had no idea what the road ahead of us would offer, we just knew that God had promised us a child when we had prayed about starting a family.

Three years later, after a long battle with infertility and nine months of carrying around our precious cargo, our promised child has been here for three weeks. We are so blessed to have Isabella in our lives. She has brought so much change for us in so many good ways. Life is no longer about ourselves, it is about our daughter. It's still so strange to say those words, "our daughter." I waited so long to be able to say those words and yet, they still seem foreign. 

For those of you reading my blog who are in the midst of a difficult battle with infertility, take my word for it, the battle is worth it. I wouldn't trade my journey for an easier time. I think it helped me to appreciate even more the life that is in my arms. It made me appreciate the blessing of God's promise more than if it had just been an easy road for me. My journey took three years from beginning to new life. Sure, it's not as long as the journey is for some women, but it certainly wasn't a short journey. If you're still on the journey, hang in there. Keep your head held high. Be patient. wait on the Lord. Be encouraged. 

Life as a New Mom

So I know it's been two weeks since I posted, so I wanted to get caught up on here. Life is finally settling down from all the excitement that surrounds the arrival of a baby. Isabella is such a blessing and a joy. There are no words to describe how it feels being a mom at last. I have prayed for and waited for this day for years. God granted me my request and it's just amazing. 

I won't lie, it hasn't been the easiest two weeks. I'm still recovering from my c-section. Recovery hasn't been too bad, but there are still things I have problems doing, like bending over to pick something up. It's frustrating because I want to do all the things I haven't been able to do and there are still limitations. I can't drive for another two weeks and I can't carry anything heavier than Isabella for another two weeks. So I can carry her, but if we go out, Hubby has to carry her in her carrier. I am not allowed. Ugh...so frustrating!

I've somehow adjusted to the sleep pattern of a new mom. Isabella is not formula fed and she's gaining steady weight, so there's no need to supplement with the formula. She's solely breast fed, so my sleep schedule is so different from Hubby's. He's great, though, he does get up with me for most feedings. He keeps me awake. That's love right there. Last night, he gave her a bottle of pumped milk for one of her feedings because I had already been up for almost two hours with her doing cluster feeding and not wanting to sleep. 

I have no complaints. Honestly, I didn't think someone could enjoy changing poopy diapers and having a 24-hour milk machine, but it makes life more wonderful. Isabella gives life new meaning and purpose. She makes me realize that not only am I a woman, but now, I am a mom. I am someone she loves, needs, and depends on, even at only two weeks old. All the full night's sleep in the world couldn't be better than holding her and knowing that she is a gift from God for Hubby and me.