Today, my sweet baby girl turns one.
Hard to believe that just one year ago, I checked myself into L&D so that I could have my c-section at 1:00pm. Last year at this very minute, 9:31am, I had such bad butterflies in my empty stomach. I hadn't eaten anything in over nine hours. I hadn't had anything to drink in over nine hours. I was hungry, thirsty, anxious, and jittery. The nerves can get the best of you as you await what will forever change your life, your world. At this time a year ago, I sat at home with my feet up watching the clock. I anxiously awaited that clock changing to 10:00am, when we would load up the car and head to the hospital.
A year ago today, I cried on my way to the hospital. Some of those tears were fear and nervousness. I was afraid of surgery. I didn't know how much pain I would be in, how sick I would be. I had heard stories from other women and I didn't know what to expect. Hubby comforted me and reminded me of what awaited on the other side of the surgery. Yes, what awaited was sure to be a beautiful newborn girl, MY baby, the one I had dreamed of for so many years. Although that was supposed to be comforting, indeed, it made me cry more! I was emotionally fragile, with so many different emotions running through me. But, I maintained myself long enough to get through the main hospital doors, check myself in at the front desk, and head up to L&D. Hubby offered to "give me the full experience" and wheel me up there in a wheel chair as if I was in labor or something. Of course, I denied it. Nothing like a nine-month pregnant lady in a pretty dress walking around the hospital just mere hours before holding that sweet baby!
All of that was a year ago...seems like yesterday. A lot of it is still so clear in my mind. The first time I heard that sweet cry, the first time I looked at my sweet girl's beautiful face, the first time I held her in my arms, the first time I was able to breastfeed her, the first time her Daddy held her, kissed her, and let her steal his heart forever, the first time her Poppy held her, the first time I saw both of her grandmothers hold her, kiss her, cradle her rock her, and snuggle with her. It all seems like yesterday. It feels like that was mere hours ago and yet, it was not hours ago, not a day or a week ago, but 365 days ago. Yes, a year can seem so small in time.
We are getting ready for the birthday celebrations around here. This day has been so long awaited! When you try for so many years to conceive a child, that long awaited miracle baby is so welcome with open arms. And now that she turns one, everyone is so nurturing and excited along with us! There is something extra special about an infertile's child turning one. Yes, we infertile myrtles make beautiful babies and they are so extra special. We're celebrating with a very small group of family who could make it tonight and then the REAL party is on Saturday. Isabella's friends will be here along with her very special and very close family members. It's sure to be an exciting day for all of us!
There was a long period of time when I almost thought a day like today, a 1st birthday celebration for your child, would ever be mine to experience. But indeed, the day has come to celebrate what the Good Lord has given me. He has given me a perfect, beautiful baby girl who no longer counts her age in mere months. She now has a full year of life in her. I am so thankful for and blessed by all that has been given to us in the past year. This child of mine is the biggest and grandest of blessings by far. She's made it through one year of milestones, changes, and adventures. Now, on to the next year!
The Spot Between Yes and No
1 day ago